VÍCTOR JONES: MAGIC MENTAL POLISH ILLUSIONISM

Víctor Jones with Eros in Kraków, Poland

Víctor Jones. Spy. Poland.

I'm Víctor Jones. I was born in Kraków, Poland. I confess. I'm a spy, a person who knows lots of important information and works undercover. My family doesn't know anything about me. Some of them think I'm a stripper, because I'm always putting clothes on and off. Some of them think I'm a magician because I appear and disappear with facility. The real explanation is I'm a spy and with a good make up and clothes I can be whoever I want. My master has been a woman. Her secret name is Irene.

I had a lot of work and prestige during the Cold War but after the fall of the Berlin's Wall the world changed forever and I recycled myself being a computer analyst, another way to obtain important information. I like reading and cinema, especially Harry Potter's saga.

-Good morning, Víctor Jones, and thanks to attend us.

-Good morning. It's a pleasure.

-I've never interviewed a spy.

-Well, never say never again.

-Is a normal interview or this never had happened.

-This interview is for your eyes only.

-When we talk about spies we think in American, English or Russian agents but you're Polish...

-This idea was true during the cold war but nowadays every country has its important secret services. I'm Polish but when I started to work Russia was the URSS and the European map was another completely different from now. In fact, I can say that I came from Russia with love, because Poland was an active member of the Warsaw Pact, in fact this pact was signed in the capital of my country.

-What can you explain about Poland?

-When we talk about Europe, it seems that we're talking only about Germany, France and the UK. It's a terrible mistake because we're 28 countries in the EU, now 27 with the UK saying goodbye, and 50 in the entire European continent. Poland is a big and historical country. We existed since 1025 when the Kingdom of Poland was founded. We formed a great Duchy with Lithuania, later we were part of Prussia, Russia and Austria and we were determined in the beginning of the WWII when in September 1939 Poland was invaded by Nazi Germany. We were a Soviet satellite state and after 1989 we are a Democratic Republic, again. When you live in a place with these historical events, it's normal that you want to be a spy. We lived in a crossroad between two worlds and you realize that the world is not enough.

-Are you scared with your work?

-No, I'm not. Risk exists everywhere and my work is only a work. It's true that you have license to kill but nowadays the spies are intelligent computers and you must control and analyse the information that they offer.

-How's life living in a border?

-It's interesting because you receive lots of influences and diversity is something that offers you the possibility of having different points of view and this is something very important in our global world.

-You were born in Kraków, a city with a terrible past. How does the global world affect in the population nowadays? 

-Kraków is nowadays a modern city which is considered as Europe's Silicon Valley. The city is the headquarters for important multinational companies and cultural diversity is something that you can see in our streets. It's true that Kraków has a terrible story. Everybody remembers how the members of our Jewish community were forced into a walled zone known as the Kraków Ghetto, from which they were sent to German extermination camps such as the nearby Auschwitz and Plaszów. Auschwitz was declared a UNESCO World Heritage in 1979 and the most important about this declaration was the idea of keeping this horrible event of our recent history in our minds because it represents the human horror and the result of totalitarianism. Auschwitz was a view to a kill and now must be a view to peace, tolerance and respect.

-How is the life of a spy?

-A normal life. You must be cautious, you mustn't speak a lot and it's important that nobody remembers you. You must be like a spectre.

-And the personal life? It must be difficult...

-Well, only a person who works in this can really understand you but you must choose between having a personal or professional life. The spy who loved me had to choose it. It's not an easy election.

-Which is your favourite spy?

-She is Mata Hari, of course. She was a Dutch exotic dancer and courtesan who was convicted of being a spy for Germany during World War I and executed by firing squad in France. She is a legend in my profession that demonstrated that diamonds are forever.

-And your worst enemy?

-Lots of enemies: Dr.No, Goldfinger, Thunderball, Octopussy, The man with the Golden Gun, GoldenEye... but if I had to choose one, Jaws. Without any kind of doubt. I was working in a mission named Moonraker. I knew Jaws a terrible highly skilled killed with an incredible strength. His name was in tribute to sharks. It seems that he liked shark, the animal which lives in oceans and eat fish, seals, crabs and seabirds. They find their prey with their sense of smell and they are in danger of extinction. Jaws had all these characteristics. He was very dangerous and caught him required an enormous effort.

-Have you got any secret gadget?

-Well, it's not a secret. I gave a little box of matches to The Grandma for her birthday. She knows the box is a code and the matches are keys that open Swiss banks where I have some secrets hidden. I also have a special skill: I can control human minds and create illusions and fakes in them.

-How do you feel being a member of The Jones family?

-Very well. The Jones is a very funny family. They respect my job and they don't ask me anything. I like them because they live and let die. For us, the family is the most important. It's the jewel of our crown and our majesty.

-How is a normal day with The Jones?

-We haven't got a normal day because we haven't got a planning. We have an idea about our obligations but we can change all things in a second. All depends of us and this is something very interesting because offers you the possibility of being creative and non-static. You cannot control tomorrow, and then you realize that tomorrow never dies.

-How long have you been studying English?

-I come from a family of spies. I was born in Kraków but I grew up in Monte-Carlo, near Casino Royale, where I learnt French and in London where I learnt English. A spy must know languages.

-Then, you speak Polish, English and French.

-Poland is a multilanguage country. Languages are the living daylights for us. Polish is the official language but other languages like German, Russian, Ukrainian, Slovak, Lithuanian, Czech, Belarusian, Romani and Yiddish are spoken in my country, too. I also speak German and, of course, Russian.

-What can you explain about your life with The Jones?

-When you have this kind of work, you need people who understand you and give you the opportunity of having your personal moments. They know that I can't explain as things as I know and they respect this, and this fact is very important because I feel comfortable with them.

-Which is your best memory with the family?

-We have lots of memories but I remember one day that I have to offer quick and efficient solutions to different problems that I didn't control. It was very interesting because offered to me the possibility of thinking in spontaneous solutions and this is not easy to do, although, I'm a spy and I'm a person who must be decisive.

-You like reading, don't you? Recommend me a book...

-I'm reading about computer development. I like it and it's a necessary skill if you want to be a professional spy. You must know about computers because nowadays technology is more powerful than standard weapons. Technology is a weapon in it. You can control whatever you want if you're able to hacker the system. A mobile phone is more powerful than a gun. Believe me or not but it's true.

-You're a spy. Can you write a slogan for The Jones?

-Die another day because you only live twice.

-One last question... is Víctor Jones your real name?

-I'm a Jones. I'm Víctor Jones. My name is Víctor because I'm a winner who always fights for victory and my surname is Jones because I'm a member of this wonderful family which is descendent of two famous people: Junior Jones, aka Indiana, the most popular archaeologist and Bridget Jones, a journalist who is able to get news using non-conventional methods.

-Thank you very much, Víctor Jones.

-You're welcome. And one more thing... I was born in Scotland not in Poland.

-What's the hell...?

This interview is going to be destroyed in 5,4,3,2,1... seconds!

A spy, like a writer, lives outside the mainstream population. 

He steals his experience through bribes and reconstructs it. 

John le Carré

THE JONES PARTICIPATE IN THE 116th PARIS-ROUBAIX

Joaquín, Silvia, Claudia, Merche, Victor & Noelia Jones

The Jones have participated in the 116th Edition of the Paris-Roubaix road. This year, the organization has made an exception and the inscriptions have been opened to women. All the members of the family, except Eli Jones who is still missing in Loch Ness although is present in our memories, have participated in this fantastic race full of danger and emotions.

Víctor Jones has arrived in the fourth position being the best classified Jones and Claudia, Joaquín, Merche, Noelia and Silvia Jones have arrived in the top 20. The Grandma is still cycling, although the race has been closed some hours ago but, as you know, the most important is participating, enjoying and arriving.

More information: Paris-Roubaix

The Paris–Roubaix is a one-day professional men's bicycle road race in northern France, starting north of Paris and finishing in Roubaix, at the border with Belgium. It is one of cycling's oldest races, and is one of the Monuments or classics of the European calendar, and contributes points towards the UCI World Ranking.

The Paris–Roubaix is famous for rough terrain and cobblestones, or pavé, setts,being, with the Tour of Flanders, E3 Harelbeke and Gent–Wevelgem, one of the cobbled classics. It has been called the Hell of the North, a Sunday in Hell, also the title of a film about the 1976 race, the Queen of the Classics or la Pascale: the Easter race. Since 1977, the winner of Paris–Roubaix has received a sett, cobble stone, as part of his prize.

Download The Paris-Roubaix Route 2018

Eddy Merckx and The Grandma, 1973

The terrain has led to the development of specialised frames, wheels and tyres. Punctures and other mechanical problems are common and often influence the result. Despite the esteem of the race, some cyclists dismiss it because of its difficult conditions. The race has also seen several controversies, with winners disqualified.

From its beginning in 1896 until 1967 it started in Paris and ended in Roubaix; in 1966 the start moved to Chantilly; and since 1977 it has started in Compiègne, about 85 kilometres north-east of the centre of Paris. The finish is still in Roubaix. The race is organised by the media group Amaury Sport Organisation annually in mid-April.

The course is maintained by Les Amis de Paris–Roubaix, a group of fans of the race formed in 1983. The forçats du pavé seek to keep the course safe for riders while maintaining its difficulty.

More information: Cycling Tips

Paris–Roubaix is one of the oldest races of professional road cycling. It was first run in 1896 and has stopped only for the two world wars. The race was created by two Roubaix textile manufacturers, Théodore Vienne, born 28 July 1864, and Maurice Perez. They had been behind the building of a velodrome on 46,000 square metres at the corner of the rue Verte and the route d'Hempempont, which opened on 9 June 1895.

Víctor Jones (centre) and other participants

Vienne and Perez held several meetings on the track, one including the first appearance in France by the American sprinter Major Taylor, and then looked for further ideas. In February 1896 they hit on the idea of holding a race from Paris to their track. This presented two problems. The first was that the biggest races started or ended in Paris and that Roubaix might be too provincial a destination. The second was that they could organize the start or finish but not both.

The race usually leaves riders caked in mud and grit, from the cobbled roads and rutted tracks of northern France's former coal-mining region. However, this is not how this race earned the name l'enfer du Nord, or Hell of the North. The term was used to describe the route of the race after World War I. Organisers and journalists set off from Paris in 1919 to see how much of the route had survived four years of shelling and trench warfare.

More information: Cycling Weekly

Originally, the race was from Paris to Roubaix, but in 1966 the start moved to Chantilly, 50 km north, then in 1977 to Compiègne, 80 km north. From Compiègne it now follows a 260 km winding route north to Roubaix, hitting the first cobbles after 100 km.

During the last 150 km the cobbles extend more than 50 km. The race culminates with 750m on the smooth concrete of the large outdoor Vélodrome André-Pétrieux in Roubaix. The route is adjusted from year to year as older roads are resurfaced and the organisers seek more cobbles to maintain the character of the race, in 2005, for example, the race included 54.7 km of cobbles.

More information: Eurosport

Everyday there's something that reminds me why I love this sport.

Bernard Hinault

THE JONES VISIT HOGWARTS: "PORTUS"

The Jones, ready to cross the magic wall

The Jones have just arrived to Hogwarts after crossing another Platform 9 3/4 entrance in the Highlands. It's not necessary to stay in London to arrive to Hogwarts and this little secret is something that not everybody knows, except J.K.Rowling.

After crossing the magic wall, The Jones have been travelling by train, the main transport in Hogwarts. They have been revising some aspects of English Grammar during this travel. Then, they have talked about Present Simple and its different uses.

More information: Present Simple

The Grandma has taken profit to explain new stories. For one hand, the chosen theme today has been the use of Literature as a tool to create a non-real world to protect communities and countries during the Middle Age. It's the case of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table in Britain Islands, but it's also the same story with other examples in other literatures. Countries were afraid of enemies in a furious dark age and they used their imagination to create legends about brave heroes, powerful kings and magic wizards.

Download King Arthur and the Knights of The Round Table

The Grandma visiting King Arthur's Tomb

For other hand, she has explained a resume of the last studies about linguistic anthropology, a science that studies the relation between human evolution and language.

Finally, The Jones have asked lots of questions to Víctor Jones, who is a specialist in the magic world of Hogwarts and its characters.

Come on Jones! Let's go to enjoy this magic place and discover wonderful things and stories that we haven't known. Open your mind and be alert because there are also dark presences at school and perhaps they're not very happy with our arrival.

More information: Pottermore

In the novels, Hogwarts is somewhere in Scotland. The school is depicted as having numerous charms and spells on and around it that make it impossible for a Muggle to locate it. Muggles cannot see the school; rather, they see only ruins and several warnings of danger. 

Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Joaquín and Sílvia Jones

The castle's setting is described as having extensive grounds with sloping lawns, flowerbeds and vegetable patches, a loch, called The Black Lake, a large dense forest, called the Forbidden Forest, several greenhouses and other outbuildings, and a full-size Quidditch pitch. 

There is also an owlery, which houses all the owls owned by the school and those owned by students. Some rooms in the school tend to move around, and so do the stairs in the grand staircase. 

Witches and wizards cannot Apparate or Disapparate in Hogwarts grounds, except when the Headmaster lifts the enchantment, whether only in certain areas or for the entire campus, so as to make the school less vulnerable when it serves the headmaster to allow Apparition. Electricity and electronic devices are not found at Hogwarts.

Download Marauder's Map

Hogwarts is on the shore of a lake, sometimes called the Black Lake. In that lake are merpeople, Grindylows, and a giant squid. The giant squid does not attack humans and sometimes acts as a lifeguard when students are in the lake. 

Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. 

In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, 

it is the power to that enables us to empathize with humans 

whose experiences we have never shared. 

J. K. Rowling